In the society that promotes romantic relationships through any field of commerce and advertisement, breaking up is the first step towards what may seem as a painful fall into the abyss.

On one hand young women are being told the eternal love fairytales, while on the other bombarded with encouragements of putting their sexuality on display. Trying to match these unrealistic expectations, we fail by default as the decades of sex revolutions; fanatic feminism combined with late night Titanic sobs, impose a rather twisted mindset.

For a young woman in the 21st century it has become almost shameful to admit being searching for love. Weirdly, for many “searching” implies desperation, which is not the case at all.

After quitting a (long term) relationship, it feels like the river of love and affection that was flowing inside of you had a tree fallen right in the way. As a consequence, you are drowning in the feeling that you still have as well as in another dozen of those that you only imagine having. Being generous and loving to the friends and family lifts this tree off the path, thus allowing you to breathe freely again.

It is difficult for women to think of a breakup as a privilege that can allow them to grow and open the doors to new opportunities and meetings. However, in the times where “my other half” is rather called a “partner”, we are bound to take on the roles of an intelligent business companion, a gorgeous goddess of love, a great cook, a caring mother, ect. The following requires women to be strong individuals that will encourage their special someone to rise up to their level instead of being dragged down. Balance is essential.

The pressure of being the synonym for perfection is getting stronger as the digital era progresses but being impossible to define, this concept is incredibly vague. Therefore, the only criterion to assess perfection is your inner indicator. It is worth keeping in mind, however, that there is a fine line between trying to be better for someone you love and betraying who you are for the sake of satisfying someone’s ambiguous ego.

Interestingly, thoughtfulness has become a better alternative for perfection, as it is a huge deal breaker in many relations. Favorite color. Sudden surprise. Coffee in bed. Little things add up. Turns out that the “step by step” model works not only in a business start up.

Nevertheless, in the cynical world of today women are prone to tricking themselves into believing being in love. To a certain extent it is a way of proving to ourselves that we are easily capable of finding it. A look, a hint, an invitation to have a coffee – single women takes “reading behind the lines” to another level, a so-called, non-existing level.

If we were to look at the relationships as if they were a chess game, it would be silly to think about making the first move with a queen instead of a pawn. Time, consistency and thought goes into getting to know a new object of your attraction, rather that a bright spark that is gone with the first ray of dawn.

In a society that is so open minded, the amount of breakups is nothing more than a personal record towards the goal of discovering yourself. What are the qualities that you look for in a partner? Do you accept to take on submissive role or are you an equality fighter? How much can you discover your sexuality? All these questions require a deployed answer and the simple “hit or miss” do not cut it anymore.

The pain caused by a break up may have been the shield that covered you from another greater pain. Besides, everything is relative and concentrating on making yourself and the world around you better is the best cure for a broken heart!